Chuckleheads

I just can’t believe some of the stuff I see and hear. Please, allow me to share the best of the lot with you.

“God wants me to serve.”

(Former Senator Norm Coleman, R-MN)

Holy shit. God is talking to Norm Coleman? Things are worse that I thought.

“I hope Obama fails.”

(Radio Shock Jock Rush Limbaugh and his peanut-sized brain)

There’s a reason why this guy is always photographed with an oversized cigar hanging out of his big, fat yap. What the hell was Darryn Kagen thinking?

“Well, John is wrong. He and I have fundamental disagreement on this point.”

(Former Vice President Dick Cheney)

This was Cheney’s response to CNN’s Wolf Blitzer who had just told him that John McCain believes that waterboarding is torture.

“We literally have no agenda. How can they be threatened by a group that has taken no policy positions?”

(Democratic Senator Evan Bayh of Indiana)

This clown can’t understand why the liberals are upset that he’s putting a wall up in front of Barack Obama’s agenda. Maybe, just maybe, the millions of people who put out a mandate for change last November are pissed off because Bayh and his band of misfits (including our old friend Joe Lieberman) have no policy positions and are just derailing the train we’re riding. These clowns have had their chance. I say that the Democratic party begin immediately to identify candidates to run against them and target them for defeat in 2010.

“It is our intention to assure those who carried out their duties relying in good faith upon legal advice from the Department of Justice that they will not be subject to prosecution.”

(U.S. President Barack Obama)

Well, the man that was voted in as our savior a mere 100 or so days ago has just moved into the obstruction of justice zone on this one. In releasing the torture memos to the public, he has assured those who carried out the dirty deeds that they will not be subject to the rule of law…at least not in the United States. This is a complete about face from the candidate Barack Obama. So, add ‘liar’ to the title as well.

Someone should, however, remind our new imperial president that he doesn’t get to make those calls. He has taken an oath to uphold the laws of the land and protect the U.S. Constitution. It isn’t binding only when convenient. We’ve just gotten rid of an imperial ruler who governed that way. We do not need a third Bush term.

“We are going to exhaust every avenue we have to prosecute those at Guantanamo who pose a danger to our country. But even when this process is complete, there may be a number of people who cannot be prosecuted for past crimes, but who nonetheless pose a threat to the security of the United States.”

(U.S. President Barack Obama)

Our new president gave a National Security speech in which he brutally laid out the transgressions of the Bush administration, then drops a bombshell about his new system of preventive detention in the same breath. Basically, Barack Obama is seeking a legal basis for detaining those who are considered a threat but cannot be tried for a crime. He wants to incarcerate those people indefninitely to prevent a future crime. This was a true WTF? moment.  Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.

“God help you if you’re a white male coming before her bench.”

(Michael Steele, Grand Poobah of the GOP)

One week after telling the GOP to stop slamming Sonia Sotomayor, Michael Steele uttered these words while guest hosting Bill Bennett’s radio show. The real WTF moment for me here isn’t that he failed to follow his own advice. Nope. In fact, the GOP is playing this game across the board with Sotomayor. They are stating publicly that they are moving away from character attacks, but privately they are telling their minions to keep it up. The GOP is schizophrenic.

The real WTF moment here is that Michael Steele, a black man, is essentially worried about white men being discriminated against. That notion is a joke. That has never been the case and never will be. White men know they still have the best deal in America. Hands down. Nice try, Mike.

“This is not a discussion of how to handle the public orphanage. These are children who have parents already providing meals for their children. This program could have the unintended consequence of diminishing parental involvement. Why have meals at home with your loved ones if you can go to the government soup kitchen and get one for free? This would have the effect of breaking apart more families.”

(Cynthia Davis, R-MO)

These are the words of insane Representative Cynthia Davis (R-MO) arguing against a summer lunch program for the children of poor families. And these weren’t the only inane statements made by this certifiable looney who clearly has her head firmly lodged in her rectum. Hey, Cynthia, how about taking the logical approach to the program. These are meals that were provided throughout the school year for these families. Perhaps the reality is here that it’s an added burden for the poor to worry about when the children are not in school? You know, poverty is real, Cynthia, even here in America! Surprise, you idiot!

While Davis worries about breaking apart the family by having hungry children fed, she should worry more about the greedy attitude she’s fostering among her constituents by reducing this to a dollars-and-cents issue. What about the family of man, Cynthia? What about people helping people? That, you myopic fool, is what America is supposed to be all about. And those aren’t the only facts she’s wrong about regarding this issue.

Watch Keith Olbermann rightfully name Cynthia the Worst Person in the World not once, but twice, here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677#31496805

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677#31533909

“With this announcement that I am not seeking re-election… I’ve determined it’s best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell; and I am willing to do so, so that this administration - with its positive agenda, its accomplishments, and its successful road to an incredible future - can continue without interruption and with great administrative and legislative success.”

(Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska)

Huh? This resignation speech was a real WTF? moment if ever there was one. It was nonsensical. It was disjointed. It was bullshit. It was barely English. It was, in short, Pure Palin. The gist of the speech? Well, only quitters stick it out. Only quitters stay in their jobs and fulfill their obligation to those who elected them, no matter how tough it gets. Do you get that? What is wrong with you? (Hint: It isn’t you.) She spoke about being a lame duck, basically conceding an election that will not take place because she isn’t going to seek re-election.

Then, nearly three quarters of the way through the looking glass here, we find out that not only is she not running for re-election, but she’s also quitting in the middle of her first term. WTF?

If I had to present the inconsistencies of this speech to you from start to finish, this post alone could top 2,000 words. Instead, click here for the complete transcript. You’ll see what I mean. It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out that this woman is lacking in brain power.

Then, get Rachel Maddow’s clarification tour of the speech here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26315908/#31789097

“If you belong to an organization called La Raza, in this case, which is, from my point of view anyway, nothing more than a Latino — it’s a counterpart — a Latino KKK without the hoods or the nooses.”

(Tom Tancredo, GOP has been)

Yet another GOP has-been has decided to step out out from under a rock to spread his brand of bigotry against Sonia Sotomayor. Tancredo has been carrying the latest GOP mantra that La Raza, a group to which Sotomayor belongs, is a radical organization and an anti-white extremist group. It is nothing of the sort. La Raza is to the Hispanic population what the Human Rights Campaign is to the GLBT Community, and nothing more.

“I feel like God himself created mankind and he loves everyone, and he has the best for everyone. If he says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that’s a pretty stern warning, and he knows more than we do about life.”

(Lauren Ashley, Miss Beverly Hills)

Once again, another beauty queen who does absolutely nothing to bolster the reputation of either blondes or women. Lauren is quoting Leviticus here, suggesting that hey, what the hell, gays should be put to death after all. Yeah, Lauren, too much peroxide?

Read more about this bright light on Think Progress!